In my crusty ratboy phase (mercifully over now, I hope), when I lived in San Francisco, I struggled. With many things, but specifically with laundry. Like the Johnny Cash song, my workdays began by looking in my closet for my cleanest dirty shirt.
My laundry situation was a manifestation of a deeper problem. Call it a depression, or maybe just call it a funk. My crusty environment reflected my crusty mental state. Sometimes I’d pass this laundromat called “Get The Funk Out.” I thought this was hilarious, but never went.
Despite my obvious and jarring lack of rhythm, for years I stayed funky, smelling and feeling nasty. Today I’m wearing clean clothes, and, for the most part, thinking cleanish thoughts.
I was catching up with a friend recently, and he shared that he was in a bit of a funk. The emotional sort. And it got me thinking, how does one get out of a funk? How did I emerge from my mental and physical grossness?
It’s easy and unhelpful to recite the platitudes (true as they are, which just makes them more obnoxious): exercise, therapy, meds, clean your damn room. But if you’re in a funk, you a) might still be doing all the right things, and if you aren’t, b) it ain’t so easy to just buck up and fix your life.
I’ll share with you my deeply unscientific model of funkiness. First, you feel funky. Then, you think funky thoughts. Then you do funky stuff, or maybe, do not a whole lot and let the funk linger and grow. The cycle repeats: feel bad, think bad, don’t do much about it.
And yes, I think action is the best, most effective way to combat a funk. Especially sustained action. But sometimes it’s really hard. And as much as your old gym teacher might tell you to “stop feeling depressed,” that’s not particularly helpful or realistic.
So,
I think, when you’re really in it, the softest target, where you’ll get the most bang for your precious mental bucks, is by changing your thinking. When we get down, our thinking gets down too. We tread the same depressive lines until they get burned into our brains. At least it seems that way.
How to change your thinking then? I’ll give you one very simple tool. Next time you tie your shoes, figure out how you do it. Specifically which foot you do first. Which lace goes over the top.
Now take your shoes off, and do it the exact opposite way. If you naturally start with the left, begin with the right. If you go left lace over right, switch it.
It’s a simple trick, but one that should feel just a bit uncomfortable. After all you’ve been doing it the same way for so long. Hopefully it’s enough to get you thinking about things just a little bit differently.
And hopefully, too, if you can think about things a little differently, you can catch a different possibility for yourself. Begin to see your way into a slightly healthier, more compassionate, happier version of yourself. Maybe it leads to action, and action can really bust up a funk. Maybe it just leads to a different mode of thinking, and if you’re stuck, isn’t novelty its own win?
Maybe all you get out of this is that your shoes are tied, and sometimes that’s all you need to take the first step toward feeling better.
Love how this flows from the personal to the prescriptive, from the universal problem to a personal solution you can share.